WeSpeak Idiomas

This was the most looked up word last year, I’m sure you must have heard it a few times by now but what does it exactly mean?

Here’s the definition according to the Merriam Webster dictionary.

1. psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator

2. the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one’s own advantage

The definitions are pretty self-explanatory but if you’re like me, you’ll want examples to illustrate them, so find below a few examples of the subtle and insidious nature of gaslighting:

1. Denying Reality: For instance, say a person confronts someone about a hurtful comment they made. The gaslighter might respond by saying, “I never said that. You must have misunderstood,” causing the victim to question their memory or perception of the event.
2. Minimization: A gaslighter might trivialize the other person’s feelings or experiences. For example, if someone expresses hurt over a hurtful action, the gaslighter may respond with, “You’re too sensitive. It was just a joke. You’re overreacting.”
3. Blaming the Victim: A gaslighter might turn the situation around and blame the victim. For instance, if someone brings up an issue, the gaslighter might say, “This is all your fault. You’re the one causing problems. You’re just trying to make me feel bad.”
4. Creating Confusion: Gaslighters may consistently move or hide objects and then deny doing so, causing the victim to question their own memory or sanity. For instance, “I didn’t move your keys. You’re just forgetful. Maybe you misplaced them yourself.”
5. Withholding Information: Gaslighters often withhold crucial information or details and then act as though the victim never asked for or knew about that information. For example, in a conversation, the gaslighter might say, “I never heard you ask about that. You must be making it up.”

Does this sound familiar? Too familiar? After reading these examples half of my class said they knew people who had minimized their feelings, blamed them when they were the victim, withheld information or tried to question their sanity, if you know someone who checks all the boxes, bingo! You know a gaslighter and if they have tried their manipulation on you, that means you have been gaslighted (or gaslit, which is also an acceptable past participle form).

But why gaslighting? Well, the term “gaslighting” originates in a British play-turned film from the 1930s. The play was called “Gas Light” and the plot is about a husband who mentally and emotionally manipulates his wife into believing she is crazy by changing the intensity of the gas lamps within their home.

I thought such an interesting word deserved room in my class so I decided to ask my students to prepare a project presentation on a famous case of gaslighting. Today I want to share Mafer’s project with you, she’s one of my advanced students and did an amazing job sharing Britney Spears’s case.

I encourage you to look up other words that have been added to dictionaries recently (Longman, I’m still waiting for this entry!), which ones did you know? which ones are new for you?

Never stop learning!